First Blog

Today is the day I have decided to blog about my move to Washington. 

I am a single mother, I have a wonderful 2 year old daughter, and even though I am a single mother, her dad is quite involved in her life.  As a matter of fact, that is the reason we are moving to Washington.

When I was 3, I knew I did not want to have children.  I have a heck of a temper, and I did not want to put a child through what I wnet through at that point.  Throughout the years, I tried to have a baby because my ex husband wanted one, however, I really didn't want one, so I guess it didn't work out for a reason.  I was divorced at 28, and my life was great, sort of.  I was single, having a good time (most of the time).  I found a wonderful job taking care of animals at a pet store, and living with my best friend and my pets.  At the end of my 30th year, the pet store closed and I was jobless.  I decided to go to school and try to become a vet assistant through an online college.  I was still living with my best friend, and things were still going well. 

Enter the surprise!  At the age of 31, I was sitting at home watching HGTV, and someone in the house said "I want a baby".  I was the only one home besides my dog and cats.  I looked around trying to find out who said it, and it became apparent I was the only one who could have.  I tried to talk myself out of it.  I was living in Augusta, and I didn't have a job, I didn't need a kid.  A friend of mine found some orphaned kittens about 2 weeks old, so I thought to myself, "what a wonderful opportunity.  I can deal with the 4 a.m. feedings, and the poopy butts and get this kid crap out of my system!  So, I did it.  I took the kittens in, and one of them didn't want to take to the bottle at all, but he needed to eat, so I kept it up all the while thinking "this is SO gonna work".  Well, he finally took to the bottle, and started eating and as I was up in the middle of the night feeding him, I saw his little paws reach for the bottle, and I knew then that it was too late, I was hooked on having a baby.   

Easter Sunday 2007, I told my roommate that I wanted to have a baby.  She about choked on her dinner :)  It was great!  She and I sat down and talked about who I could use as a possible sperm donor, and there were 3 choices of the men that I knew, but 2 of them were not very reliable, so I didn't want to use them if I could avoid it.  The third option was an old friend from when I was in the Army.  He also happened to be coming to Augusta for school very soon.  So, it was decided that he would be the best possible candidate for my "baby daddy".  I tried to find out a way to ask him to donate to my cause, and decided that it would be best just to tell him my clock started ticking and that I was now on a mission to find a donor.  I was willing to do everything for this baby by myself, the father need not be involved, and he said "I'll help".  I about choked on my own breath!  "Help how?"  "I'll teach the kid to shoot guns, drive etc." "Oh, OK", "Hell, I'll even help you find the guy, we'll write up a checklist and take to the club.  Have potential guys fill it out and say 'I'll get back to you'".  Then came the biggest shock, "why wasn't I an option".  "WHAT??!!!"  "Why am I not a choice to be the baby's dad?"  All of a sudden, I was trying to talk him OUT of being the father of my baby instead of trying to talk him into it.  We decided that yes, it would be best if he was the father, and I told him he was really the ONLY choice as far as who I would want to be my "baby daddy", I just didn't know how to ask him to make a lifelong commitment to a child and forcing myself into his life for the rest of our lives.  He said he was cool with it, and didn't want a commitment out of me, and I didn't want a commitment out of him, other than for the possible child we would create.  We discussed everything that we possibly could to make sure we had our ducks in a row, and when he showed up in April, we began the process.

In July, I got pregnant, and he left in August to go back to Washington.  I moved up to Michigan because my aunt was ill, and needed my help.  I was in Michigan in September, and I talked to him almost every day for a long time and at some point I told him if he ever wanted us to move out there, that he only had to let me know, and I would do my best to get us out there.  My aunt passed away the first week of November, and I wound up living with my mother and her boyfriend until the following November.  I had the baby, and we went to Georgia to visit my friends, then came back home, and "baby daddy" (hereby known as bd) came out to meet his little girl.  He took right to being a dad, even jumping in to change a poopy diaper.  I don't think I was ever so proud of someone as when he changed his first dirty diaper.  I knew right then and there that I had DEFINITELY made the right choice.  We have visited him out in Washing ton, and he has come back here to Michigan a couple of times to see her.  When he came out for her 2nd birthday, he said that he wanted us to move out there to Washington so he could be closer to her.  I said OK, and that I had to save up the money to make the move, so it would be in December, after the fall semester at school.  I sat down in October, and realized that driving through the mountains in December with a 2 year old would not really be a good idea, and he agreed, so we are moving in May! 

My girl and I are SO excited, and cannot wait.  It is a new place, and we will not know too many people, but we are comfortable about it.  I have begun the work to find a place to stay, and I've found the college I will attend to finish my teaching degree.  Now, to begin a job search so I can afford to live out there.